Pluviophile
I am a pluviophile
A lover of the rain
That patters across the window
And lessens my pain
I love the way it drenches
The grass and the tree
Leaving sweet dewdrops
That smell fresh in the breeze
I love the way it’s validating
The way the sky cries
But makes me feel weird because
Then why couldn’t I?
There’s something that stops me
Like heavy clouds that can’t rain
That fall to the earth
As if they were attached to a chain
And there the clouds sit
All gloomy and blue
Accidentally clouding
Everyone’s good mood
The clouds, they don’t mean to
Actually they were hurt first
They were the ones bound down
On this crazy ass Earth
I wished you were the one
I wished you were the one
When we danced in the dark
I wished you were the one
When we played ball at the park
I wished you were the one
When I kissed you goodnight
I wished you were the one
Even when we got into a fight
I wished you were the one
And I am wishing still
But now my hope is dwindling
And eventually it will
Disappear into the stars
And on that one fateful day
A shooting star will fall
So I wish there will be someone to say
“You are the one”
When I’m older
Some say the older you get
The less that you cry
And in some cases that’s true
I’m not gonna lie
But for me it’s the opposite
The older I’ve gotten
The more stress I’ve encountered
And the good times I’ve forgotten
Maybe when I’m older
Even older than I am
I will cry less
Because I will have swam
In a lake full of tears
A lake I made myself
That I won’t feel the difference
When a drop is expelled
Goldfish memory
I have the memory of a goldfish
At least that’s what they say
I don’t know who “they” is
But I guess it doesn’t matter anyway
My brain has been beaten down
To the point where I can’t remember
Anything from middle school
Or January through December
My younger self could remember
Every little thing
I would appreciate every event
And everything life could bring
There was a time I wished
That my memory could withstand
Each and every beating
And even grow, expand
I can’t say I’m totally mad
At my amnesia prone self
Because then everything bad
Is put on a shelf
In the back of my mind
Right where is belongs
So I can slowly forget
A person’s rights and wrongs
Summertime Sadness
I know I should like summer break
But I’ve never felt so blue
Since now I have time to sit and think
Letting emotions stew
My depression fills the silence
But no one would think to check
How I’m drowning in tears
That overtake my neck
I know not how or why
My emotions hit so deep
But it’s probably because when I’m busy
I only think of them before I sleep
But now the homework is done
Along with the projects and tests
And although I want to relax
My mind can never seem to rest
For if it rests for too long
Then sadness starts to creep in
like an unwanted shadow
Or an awfully evil twin
But maybe if I start preparing
Now for the upcoming years
Then my thoughts will be occupied
Instead of leaving me in tears
Wading Water
I saw something glimmer on the ocean’s surface
Something shiny and blue
I waded into the water to grab it
But my hand slipped
I felt the shiny glass
I waded further
But a current pushed it away
I continued to chase it
The water pooled around my ankles
Then my knees and my hips
But I didn’t seem notice
As the chilly water rose
I pushed on and on
But my hand never seemed to reach
Until I waded in so deep
That now water was all that I would see
I tried to take another step
But my feet were glued to muck
My lungs screamed at my brain
That all I needed was air
But when I opened my eyes one last time
Turns out, nothing was ever really there
Counting Sheep
It’s 3am
I lie awake
Frustrated because
My sleep’s at stake
It’s 3:05am
The sheep have jumped the fence
At least a hundred times
But they can’t do very much
When I can’t get you off my mind
It’s 3:15am
You’ve been running through my head all day
Do you ever get exhausted?
Because I’m exhausted you’re taking up space
When you’re not even wanted
It’s 3:30am
When I try to quell your speed
You only seem to go faster
Preventing me from falling asleep
Tomorrow I’ll be a disaster
Cruel Universe
I think the universe is cruel
Because you can’t expect me to believe
That there’s no one on this earth
Destined to be with me
God kicks people out
Of my lonely, miserable life
Do I really make him angry?
Does he have a personal strife?
Because all I want is someone
Someone sweet and kind
Who will be there on my darkest days
Wanting my love which he will find
Addiction
When I was younger I didn’t understand how easy it was to turn to mind-numbing substances
Pills that could take you into another world
Or momentarily slow this one
When I was younger, I thought that the solution was to be happy
What I didn’t realize was the pain
The suffering which is a part of all of us
The suffering that makes us human
I didn’t realize how painful it could feel
Sometimes more than the worst cut imaginable
Because unlike a physical wound
I can’t put a bandaid over my heart
Pretend everything is ok
I think for many, that bandaid, are the pills
The pills that will provide temporary relief
But that’s just the thing
Is it worth ruining a chance at happiness
For a single, small pill?
Frost Flower
There was once this small flower
Covered in frost
During the day and the night
All its hope had been lost
No matter the rain
No matter the shine
The frost only hardened
With an intricate design
Until beside it a flower
Also sprouted with frost
And together they learned
That all hope was not lost
And with time the frost dissolved
Leaving a shimmering light
And now their petals shone
Vibrantly bright
The Pearl Moon
The pearl moon
Is what everyone sees
Dainty and white
It shines above the trees
Cameras will flash
Strangers in awe
But they’ll all leave as soon
As the full moon is gone
When the pearl disappears
All covered in soot
Would anyone care
To take a second to look?
At the beauty that lies
Within that pale shiny pearl
And all that it does
For this unfaithful world
The Graveyard
My heart is a graveyard
And my memories are ghosts
They are guarded by a gate
But he happily waltzes in
With a backpack and a shovel
And an entire sleeve of gin
His shovel strikes the ground
Where an unfortunate tombstone lays
He continues striking on and on
With any remorse at bay
He doesn’t know the damage
He doesn’t know the pain
He just keeps digging and digging
Hoping thing will stay the same
He doesn’t think about ghosts
He doesn’t think about sin
He only thinks about himself
And letting himself in
Only when he sees a ghost
Does he scream and run away
And now the ghost is left
Damaged in the fray
It’s Hard To Love
It’s hard to love the rain
When the sun shines so bright
It’s hard to love the night
When the day is so light
But there’s some who love the smell of rain
And some who love the peace of night
So maybe someone will love me
I really hope they might
It’s hard to love brown eyes
When there are beautiful shades of blue
It’s hard to love the moths
When there are butterflies flying anew
But there’s some who love deep brown eyes
And some who love moths’ patterns
So maybe someone will love me
And maybe that’s all that matters
It’s hard to love the winter
When summer promises warm weather
It’s hard to love an introvert
When extroverts are at the center
But there’s some who love the snowy cold
And some who love inside
So maybe someone will love me
And stay by my side
The plight of a reader
Everyone always says
How a reader lives a thousand times
But what if by experiencing so much
They realize their own life offers
So little