Inertia
Words fail to describe this…effervescent anger
Life spiralling non-stop in downward motion
Except for an ethereal instant- only to pull me under
Brainstorm with no beginning or end in sight
Buzzing stagnant energy, stuck mid-transcendence
Words fail to describe this… primaeval despair.
Decoded Decoder
Diagnostic codes of arbitrary meaning
Frigid scheme of digits for my living
Traumatic scenes reduced to an acronym
Intermittent neural circuitry
Ominous amalgamation of biological & environmental factors
Synthetic explanations that don’t make sense
Emerging questions and hypotheses I cannot test
Inconsistent synapses
Flare Surreal
Into this dark space I recede
Under my own skin
In this etheric gap I heal
Unfathomable catalysis
Mutant
I feel like a mutant
Altered in some way
Just not human
I am something else
Sum of elements
Failing to add up
Scattered puzzle pieces
That don’t make a whole
I feel like a mutant
Perhaps truly so
Just not human
Either minus or plus
Flux
... And It all fades
Beauty, youth and energy
Like colorful sands
In motion through the hourglass
Sorrow remains
Like a silent assailant
In the continuum of time-space
Plurality
Wanting silence
Craving excitement
Lingering uncertainty
Unyielding confidence
Sensory escalation
Mental deceleration
Vacant, I’m here
Plurality of my singularity
Guarding my unrest
Fickle
Tainted purity
Kindness contained
Jaded energy
Worn out, unkempt
Non-linear unraveling
Emotional viscosity
Florid, unwell
Your - Mine
Your thinking is linear
But mine is sideways
Your plans are sequential
As mine are divergent
Your brain follows straight lines on right angles
Mine races and curves between tangents and triangles
Alight
In the midst of catharsis
Light rays from my eyes
Tracing the pearlescent void
Afflicted Self refusing the Abyss
Light rays from my eyes
Illuminating darkness
Random
Trembling with overdone perceptions
Sensations now overboard
And I can’t help that which I can’t stop or foretell
Breathing despair
My head fills with oxygen
Pushing letters and phrases
Sounds and images
Against my skull
And I can’t get a hold of this fear I can’t control
Anxiety attacks once more
Agitated and paralyzed
Thoughts, feelings, ideas I can’t yet crystallize
Initiation: Tears
Tears of sorrow
Drip down my face
Slowly but surely
Stripping me bare
Tears of sorrow
Cover my wounds
Stinging and burning
First healing phase
Reverie
In depersonalization my mind splits
An attempt to defend my sanity
In derealization my world dissipates
A glitch in my noetic matrix
In dissociation my Self navigates
An escape from my reality
Path
Losing, misplacing
This phasing of consciousness wears me out
Losing, restocking
These cramped edgy corners in my head
Losing, misplacing
Dysphasing of time on my body takes its toll
Looking, re-stuck in
This dark shifting labyrinth of hell
Apotheosis
Iridescent rays penetrating
Effervescent darkness densifying
Intermittent consciousness flowing
Kinetic bursts of memory building
Momentum inducing apotheosis