The Bell
the ring of the bell,
you know you must answer the call,
but the comfort of the bed holds you in, holds you back, makes your skin crawl,
glued in place, ill at ease, unhappy but getting warm,
but now your bed is infuriating, disgusting, weakness to break out of,
run away but to no avail,
because now the bell is gone and the bed has gone cold
Listen to your breath and sit in shame
The Price of Freedom
Cut off every tether!
And alone you float free
Higher and higher, perhaps a place superior
To a spot unknown, until no face is familiar
Now it's getting colder, floating in pleasure but alone forever
The weight of someone else’s dreams
The edges of my vision slip
away, blinded by light, ears ringing, knees giving
away, my body screams I must get
away, as the walls cave in I grapple at them,
for support or to push them
away, I don’t know
Trying to gauge where I am but I don’t care all I see is that light ahead,
I must get there my body screams, this weakness must be shed,
Desperation clings onto me like the wet clothes that weigh me down,
I crawl I must get away, but exhaustion pulls me back, the ground claims me, my clothes drown me,
the light blinds me (why do I want to go there again?)
The silence screams at me, all I hear is my muddled tired breath,
The last deathly step takes me through the light
I expect to be transformed, made anew
But instead exhaustion pulls me down once more,
The edges of my vision slip
away, blinded by light, Ears ringing, knees giving
away, my mind screams I've gotten
away, but my body doesn’t care it’s back where it started, it’s give in
The light was a dream of someone else, not the girl that lays in it now fallen
Rituals
I hold on to my rituals
And keep the rage at bay
The melancholy and solitude
That creep in unbidden
All those things that lurk hidden
Beneath the surface in slow circles
Waiting for a crack in the ice to rise
And swallow me whole
The Nature of Joy
Joy seems to bubble out of my skin
Rippling under like water
Waiting for a stone to fall
Break the surface and splash
Droplets of joy spilling around
As I gather them back in
Hoping to be a large enough force
to hold it all
enough for them to gather back to
And not all splash away until there's nothing left
Untitled
Am I running out of words
Metaphors, similes, comparisons that delight
Clever combinations of pretty letters
Are there enough for a lifetime
Will I use them all up at once?
Is there a reserve that's running out
Im spilling out too fast until nothings left
Chipping away what I've got
Or it it a sharpening of a knife,
The little slivers that fall only making me better
Wallflowers
Sitting on the sidelines
A wallflower watching
A fly on a window
A moth on a lampshade
Stomach grumbling passing by a bakery
Fingers itching by a paintbrush
Eye twitching watching her dance
As my Foot taps to the music under the table
Indecision haunts me
Insecurity swallows what's left
Now I want to snatch greedily at every opportunity
And devour life itself lest it gets away again
Untitled
My heart pulls out of me
About to fall out
My mind screams at me
Trying to break free of the bones that hold them in
They all protest moving to the edges of my existence
They cling to the memories that won't die
But the memories are a cruel lie
Nostalgia the rose tinted glasses
The sadness was not my home
It was a cruel cage
The marks on my skin will fade
And I will never replace them
Inspiration
And it strikes me only when I'm aware
Like in bed in the middle of the night
Or laying in the grass watching it grow,
Sipping my tea observing strangers
All I know is it's always a welcome surprise
I scribble the words into my notebook
Hoping the small markings becomes something larger
Haiku
And it only strikes
when I'm unaware. Unbidden,
But welcome surprise
Untitled
You pass by
Trying to hold in
The jealousy in my heart
Trying to stop
It from spilling out
Of my eyes and drowning you
Untitled
Standing face to face
A warped reflection
Twisting and turned
Loud and unfamiliar
It reads me with it's twisted eyes
I stand still
Hoping for its satisfaction
Untitled
Pools of warped liquid
Swirl below and lurch
Up unexpectedly
It hurts when a ghost of a splash
Echoes near my face
Untitled
Your hand slipped away from mine
But I can still feel its warmth linger
Lasting longer than you did
The indentions of you palm that fit so perfectly in mine (or did they?)
I look back
there's no one there, But I'm only human so I check again
My memories turn you into an angel
A saint blameless, that leaves me the stone-hearted witch
But Memory is a cruel trickster
Life is better remembered than lived
Nostalgia is an evil lie